“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”
“The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, I, o and […]
Hooks are the only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may not have secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, bottle openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These are Pirates we’re talking about, not Inspector Gadget.
A pirate’s diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement.
Pirate Law: You […]
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Playing Golf could be very exciting!
:)):))
Pirates do not go shopping. They go lootin’ and plunderin’.
A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.
Lifting or removing one’s eye patch is extremely impolite but is not considered an insult. It’s just kinda gross. Likewise, one should never remove another pirate’s eye patch, except with a sword to the face.
Pirates never […]
“Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state”
“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”
“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”
“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”
No matter how hard it is raining, two pirates may never share an umbrella. Pirates do not fear rain.
If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep their pirate status.
A pirate does not snuggle with an animal, unless […]
