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Children’s Science Exam IV

10-Jul-07

“To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.”

“The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.”

“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides
have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”

“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars,and eight cuspidors.”
More…

9 Pirate laws

19-May-07
  1. A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.
  2. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute.
  3. When fishing, a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use of a hook is only acceptable in the event the pirate is missing a hand.
  4. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out.
  5. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
  6. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold.
  7. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.
  8. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.
  9. A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.

Comedy Central print

13-Jan-07

Keine minute ohne comedy
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Comedy Central

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